Do you know what anxiety is to me?

Do you know what anxiety is to me?

imageEver wondered what it’s like to have an anxiety attack, well read on becuase i am in the middle of one right now. For me it starts with a feeling, almost like the feeling you get before a storm. I’ve come to know this trigger and it lets me prepare, I have anything between five minutes to half an hour. The initial symptoms are a slight feeling in my stomach, like butterflies but not so intense, my muscles will start to tense slightly and I will get a pressure around the area of the right synus/behind the eye.

I know I have to relax, this is important, no matter how intense the desire is to tense up I must try to relax, breathing deeply helps and counting each breath. this concertrates the mind off any thoughts. This point in the attack I still have no idea what has triggered it. Whilst I can still pretend to act normal it becomes very difficult. I would become intense or snappy but inside screaming. These are the worst, these are the attacks that would lead to self harm but I can’t do that so I must try to relax

As I type this I am feeling it, alll the muscles in my fingers and toes are tensing up and those in my legs, just have to relax and breath. It will come in waves now, different muscle groups but the same intensity of tension, because i’m writting this I am not concerntrating on the cause so it is difficult. Head aches, chest still tight, desire to scratch my skin off is so overpowering but I breath, during these kind of attacks are when I am most suseptable to self harming, so glad I am learning to control them.

Easing now, breathing through it and I can feel my muscles relaxing, it has passed. Scared and nervous now but with each breath I have more control, I have beaten another one. don’t even want to read this through.

spelling is probably terrible but I don’t want to change it

I’m okay

I’m okay

5 thoughts on “Do you know what anxiety is to me?

  1. Anxiety is nasty and that’s a very good description. Im lucky that I’ve only suffered a few attacks and it’s been the worst thing ever. Thanks for sharing to help others understand and stamp out the stigma


  2. How brave of you to write in the midst of an attack. I have them too, once in a great while. I always start to perseverate on having a heart attack. I doubt I would have the wherewithal to write a coherent sentence, let alone a complete post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It’s funny because I’ve been diagnosed with a generalised anxiety disorder, but I don’t experience panic attacks so severe they are like a heart attack. It’s made me think at times I’m making it up. I’ve been given information about anxiety by the psychiatrist but haven’t read it yet.


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